When I say “boys are dumb” what I really mean is “boys have been raised in a patriarchal society that forces them into an incorrect and problematic view of masculinity that not only forces them to strip away valuable virtues from themselves, like patience and gentleness, but also forces them them to view and treat women in unhealthy ways that devalues women as people and makes them into objects purely for a man’s benefit”

but it’s a lot faster to say “boys are dumb”


Anonymous asked:

Do you ever feel like women are encouraged to only love certain parts of their bodies? Basically I feel like there is no love for big bellies. Lots of comments about looking pregnant and all that. Any advice on coming to terms with it?

boyswanna-be-her answered:

Absofucking lutely. I think we are constantly presented with this falsehood in the media about loving our bodies—but only if our bodies are conveniently situated in what society finds attractive.

So if your arms are skinny and your bones show through your back? Society says UNHEALTHY!! Ick, gross, eat a sandwich.

If you have a belly that protrudes past your breasts? Society says UNHEALTHY!!! You’re going to die if you don’t lose some weight.

If you’re a curvy size 16 with a small waist, undimpled skin and big boobies? Society says WOW WHAT A BOMBSHELL!!! Great role model, luv ur body gurl.

That’s also a part of the problem with the fact that society treats women’s bodies as commodities. If they don’t look a way that’s “unoffensive” then they’re not good bodies and they need changing—gaining weight, losing weight, whatever.

If you’ve got dimpled legs, you’re supposed to hide them under leggings and not wear shorts. If you’ve got fat rolls, you’re not supposed to wear a bikini in public. If your belly is big, you’re not supposed to wear midriff tops. If your ribs show through your chest, you’re not supposed to wear a low-cut top.

"Put that away!" and "Nobody wants to see that!" and "Trends men hate!"—it’s all such bullshit. And even more insidious are the "fashion rules" that women are supposed to adhere to in order to "flatter our shapes."

It’s tripe. It’s hateful. It’s nonsense. You can’t place a value on bodies. All bodies are equal and should be viewed as such. But that is NOT what society feels. Women and men find it socially acceptable to snipe about women’s appearances and fashion choices—and we as women are supposed to TAKE IT AS A COMPLIMENT when someone confides in us that they don’t like how another woman dresses or how another woman looks.

So how do you come to terms with it? I mean, how do you come to terms with anything hateful in life? You have to internalize your acceptance of your body and work outwards. You have to have the courage to disagree when someone tries to snipe. You have to have the patience to be aware of your OWN body policing thoughts and you have to work hard to overcome them.